If there’s one thing I love more than paying for rail travel, it’s having my ticket stamped. Especially when the rail fella uses a Christmas tree themed hole punch.
Hang on a minute, maybe it's Lebanon themed?
The inspector will be raking in cash from a Christmassy wedding confetti business on the side, I shouldn’t wonder.
Who’s bored of me talking about Christmas yet? No-one? OK great.
Emma keeps trying to insist that we need to make the decorations classy or whatever, so I’ve taken to waiting until she goes to bed then sticking fairy lights all over the gaff. It’s still about 15 Kg of sparkle from what I would classify as a bare minimum.
I’m not sure I trust her idea about what’s tacky or not anyway, she thinks that sending Christmas / Birthday cards to your Mum that say “Happy Birthday Mum” is tacky. If we were living in Emmaworld, every comrade would be issued with a stack of brown paper cards at birth to be opened annually, and that’d be the end of it.
Well as advent continues, my Top Gear chocolate advent calendar continues to provide a healthy and nutritious start to each and every day.
Remember when I saw a TV program being filmed in my building a few weeks back?
He used to be famous him you know
Well it’s on the box this Monday. Come Dine With Me- Coronation Street special.
Coronation Street has been on for 50 years, so they’re finally going to feed the actors. You can watch it on Channel 4 at 9pm on Monday night. Apparently the guy above (who turns out to be Reg Holdsworth) was being a total bell-end throughout the whole thing. There’s a story about it in the paper and everything:
Excitement – Come Dine With Me Sorting House special Monday 9pm, Channel 4.
There’s a woman at work (I won’t name her, she’s got enough problems) who is obsessed with some cartoon about monsters called “Twilight”.
The vampire is the one in the middle
If you’ve never heard the plot of Twilight then revel in your ignorance, I just explained it to a mate of mine and could feel my testostorone draining out with every syllable.
Anyway this calendar doesn’t have Santa, Rudolph, or any of the other stuff from the Bible on it. Instead you open each window and it’s either the Vampire one, or the Werewolf one. By Christmas Day you find out whether there are more wolves or bats, and that one wins Bella’s heart.
I know. Awesome.
Today’s Advent Chocolate: A Christmas Cracker (or possibly a toffee)
I’ve had a lot of emails about where to buy skull shaped Christmas decorations which are all sparkly and that.
The answer is Paperchase, Market Street, Manchester. £7.50 each right now, but if you wait a few weeks, you can probably get a crate full out of the skip around the back of the shop.
Today’s Advent Chocolate: AN ANGEL!
skull baubles- it's fun to say
I love Christmas and I will not apologise for it.
Society dictates that a grown man can’t get too excited about Santa, so I’ve pretty much kept a lid on things during November. There was the odd slip up: making gingerbread angels, whistling the intro to “Fairytale Of New York”, but generally I’ve been a good boy.
I got the cutters from that wedding in October- Thanks Lisa and Neil!
Now though it’s December, snowing outside, and the gloves are off.
I’m going to be drinking mulled Orange juice and having mince pies for breakfast from now until January.
Some say he waits until Christmas Eve, then opens all the doors at once
Emma’s Mum bought me a Top Gear advent calendar, I think The Stig reveals his identity on the 25th.
Today’s Advent Chocolate: A bell
Two things written on the backs of vans today:
If I had a van, I’d have a Martin Amis quote on the back of it
Money doesn’t mind if we say it’s evil, it goes from strength to strength. It’s a fiction, an addiction, and a tacit conspiracy.
That would show the fuckers.
Boy oh boy do ladies love a man with a pipe.
Geneva, Monday
You probably didn’t notice any (further) drop in quality, but I’ve been blogging with my Blackberry all this past week whilst on holiday.
Other than the tiny camera seeming to have cataracts, it was quite fun. Boy, if the present day me travelled back in time and told the 16 year old me that one day I’d spend my holidays trying to upload his diary using a magical handheld box, I’d have called you a fool. A terrifyingly bald fool.
Anyway here’s a photo I didn’t take from the Blackberry- it’s of one of the espresso bars in Turin market. God I love those places, 60p for a hardcore shot of caffeine that would slay a raccoon.
"Actually love, I'll just have a Pineapple Ice tea"
No-one in Italy has had a proper night’s sleep since 1987 you know. Hence the driving.
